2 outs...

Random musing…

When I am ‘paralyzed’ or ‘stuck’ trying to push through starting or finishing a project, and have made the decision not to organize paperclips or whatever other mundane, albeit, necessary-needing-to-be-done-but-not-pressing-task….
I eat.
And eat.
Find myself in the kitchen snacking.
Eating.
Huh??
How did I get here?
I thought I was working away.
Not sure I remember walking in here.
Oh well.
Rummage for more.

Hmmm.
Not a good habit.
Can be a yummy one though.

Just sharing.
Another avoidance tactic.

Back.
To.
Work.

Maybe just a few more chips and salsa first….. :)

Rain.

Why is it that rainy days can make one introspective? At least they do me. or make me want to take a nap. sleep in my life is often a way to avoid thinking though. so those two things on rainy days are quite related.
Edouard hit the gulf coast today, and was supposed to send waves of rain across our valley. I am still waiting. It is cloudy. It keeps trying to rain. A few sprinkles here and there. the ground is so dry. it thirsts for rain. the grass is brown. well, except for green circles around the little trees we have planted these past few years. i have refused to let them die. there are many hours and many gallons of water, and many steps invovlved in dragging a hose to each of them. One did die this summer. why? it got the same water. it had been there longer....so more established. it got fertilizer like the rest. the leaves turned brown. they fell. it got babied some more. extra water, not too much at a time though. daily checks. trunk still green underneath. more babying. gradual death. all brown. gone. hubby took it out this weekend. planted another one in its place. not sure I was ready to give up on it. glad to see the new one planted. can't wait to see it grow.
it needed the rain today. rain from the Lord above works so much better than my meager efforts with the garden hose and water. Have you ever noticed that? His ways are better.

still waiting for the rain today.... for the refreshing drink it will bring. He is faithful. It will come in His time. Introspection. good for the soul. Sleep. Good for the soul and the body.

Romans 8:28 All things work to good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose....

someone said this is therapy...

A friend who has blogged for 2 years now, recently posted an article that said blogging is therapeutic. hmmm. most who know me would say I could use therapy. Truthfully, I have considered this for a while, felt led actually, to journal for my sake and for the story it leaves for my family...but was and am still, afraid. Yes, afraid. Of what? Well, that would perhaps be too much to admit. and, too much of a good thing can be bad, right?? There are some I know who think this will be a waste of my time. Perhaps they are right, perhaps they are wrong. Only one way to find out...
I do greatly enjoy keeping up with all that my sweet friends are doing through their blogs, and many of those I know, and some I don't know, encourage me and strengthen my faith through their musings and writings. Because of the 'time' issues, I don't always allow myself the luxury of surfing those blogs I enjoy... This too can be a lesson, right? again, too much of a good thing...and all things in their time....

When I saw the 'create blog' button at the top of a friend's blog, I went with it. Has that link always been there?? I had a blogger account already, so step one taken care of. Next, a title... Coming up with a blog title took only a minute or two. I couldn't spend too long, or I would close the page and put off this journey, allowing fear, once again, to take over. So many people have such cute and insightful titles.... titles that tell a story, titles that show a snippet of what is to come if you actually read on.... how could I compete with all of those?? Then I remembered what another dear friend said around about 2 years ago when she started, stopped, and started blogging again-- it is for me, not really for others... (or something along those lines) do I allow fear to once again stop me?
{{Have you gathered that perfectionism often paralyzes action in my life??}}

This blog journey won't be even close to perfect, it will be disjointed, I will ramble, my words won't always make sense; I will always be apprehensive about what I write, about what you think, about sharing too much, or too little, about sounding stupid, about being boring, or wrong....and I will ramble randomly. often. I said that already. I know. Be warned. If you choose to join me on my journey. to follow along on the happenings and musings in my life, it won't be a smooth road.

More importantly, though, is that it is simply a start... and yet a continuation... of the journey of fostering faith. Faith in HIM. Faith in HIS ability to grow me and to use me. His word tells me Faith comes through action, through taking that first hard step into the unknown. Yes, I know this is only a little blog.... just random rambling words in cyberspace, but, for me, it is a small mustard seed size step...

Matthew 17:20 .....if you have FAITH the size of a mustard seed....nothing will be impossible to you.